Humour Archives » Nationla Numbers Blog Nationla Numbers Blog
Nationla Numbers: A car number plate dealer, recognised reseller by the DVLA
Office Hours : 9am - 7pm Mon to Fri. 9.30am - 7pm Sat. 10am - 7pm Sun
Call us on

Nationla Numbers Blog

The 10 Worst Parking Fails

June 23, 2015
Posted in Editorial,Humour — Written by Nationla Numbers

Even the best drivers don’t enjoy parking at the best of times. Lots of people will even go out of their way to avoid parallel parking or parking too close to other vehicles. This is common, but even the least confident drivers will look at these 10 jokers and wonder how then even managed to get on the road in the first place. We have everything from vehicles parked in the wrong places, to inconsiderate drivers not even caring to park at all, and not forgetting the drivers who leave absolute terror in their wake.


Tesco’s Finest Parking Fail

Parking Fail Trolley

What was the driver thinking?

“My Lord, why is no one using this sheltered parking space? It seems ideal for small vehicles!”

What are we thinking?

“Have you never been shopping before?”

Parking Fail Score: 8/10



The Blocker

Parking Fail Block

What was the driver thinking?

“Well no where to park. I’m sure these disabled people don’t mind if I prevent them from driving any time soon.”

What are we thinking?

“At least he had the courtesy to not use the last disabled space, that would have been inconsiderate …”

Parking Fail Score: 7/10



Motorcycles Only!

Parking Fail Motorcycles Only

What was the driver thinking?

“These markings are more of a suggestion than a rule.”

What are we thinking?

“For real, you can’t read can you?”

Parking Fail Score: 5/10


Two Space Hog

Parking Fail Two Spaces

What was the driver thinking?

“All these other cars smell.”

What are we thinking?

“How little confidence do you have in your parking ability that you need that much space?”

Parking Fail Score: 5/10



Wrong Space, Wrong Number of Spaces

Parking Disabled

What was the driver thinking?

“I won’t be here long. Better make sure I’m twice as annoying as usual.”

What are we thinking?

“If there was a Parking Fail bingo card, this guy would win.”

Parking Fail Score: 6/10



Car Hokey Cokey

Parking Fail Back Up

What was the driver thinking?

“That’ll do. You can see what I was going for.”

What are we thinking?

“Was the extra two seconds of gas too much?”

Parking Fail Score: 4/10



Hit the Grass!

Parking Fail Grass

What was the driver thinking?

“If anyone asks I’ll just say I broke down.”

What are we thinking?

“Better tow it, then.”

Parking Fail Score: 6/10



Balancing Act

Parking Fail Double Yellow

What was the driver thinking?

“Does this not count as a curb?”

What are we thinking?

“Does that not count as being on two double-yellows? (Quadruple yellow?)”

Parking Fail Score: 8/10



Smart Car Indeed

Parking Fail Smart

What was the driver thinking?

“I’m not in the way, am I?”

What are we thinking?

“Nice car. It’d be a shame if someone smashed into the side of it because you cannot parallel park.”

Parking Fail Score: 6/10



Only in America

Parking Fail USA

What was the driver thinking?

“… Like a glove.”

What are we thinking?

“Trust the Americans to take Parking Fails to the next level.”

Parking Fail Score: 10/10



Driving Test: The DOs and the DON’Ts

June 9, 2015

June 1st marked the 80th birthday of Britain’s driving test. It has changed a lot over the years – for example the ability to reverse park was only added to the criteria in 1991.

For many drivers the driving test has been the source of many memories – both happy and traumatic – over the last 80 years and it will continue to be just that for the hundreds of new drivers coming through every day.

To celebrate the Oak Anniversary of the DVLA’s driving test we asked our followers on Twitter and Facebook and our customers what their fondest (and darkest) memories were, what we got was a great list of DOs and DON’Ts that should be studies by all young, future drivers hoping to take their test soon.


- Do -

driving test tips

Get Confident

You know how to drive!

This is just one of those times where you know you are being watched and you have a lot riding on the next 40+ minutes of driving, so you are going to be nervous. Just remember all the preparation you have put in and let the pressure fall off your shoulders and you will get through your driving test no problem.

One young lady thought she failed her driving test in the first five minutes after narrowly avoiding a van. Thinking it was over she continued driving naturally, and it turned out she passed!

Getting confident and loose could mean the difference between a failed driving test and a successful driving test.


- Don’t -

don't get clever

Get Clever

You are always being watched, but you don’t need to overthink things. Stick to what you know, you have had enough time to learn from your instructor what is expected of you.

When asked to do a three-point turn in the road, Iain from Wales thought he found a loophole of sorts when he used a driveway to perform the manoeuvre. Obviously the examiner was not impressed.

Another gentleman, Daniel, recalls his first driving test when he noticed his assessor did not have his seatbelt on and thought he’d earn extra points by sternly requesting he do so. “We were still on the private ground of the test centre car park,” the examiner said. “I am not required to do so.” It was all downhill from there.

Your assessor is the one who decides whether you pass your driving test or not, don’t try to get one over them or you aren’t going to have a good day.


- Do -

do strike up a conversation

Strike Up a Conversion

Seeing as your driving test lives and dies at the whim of your examiner you may as well get them on your side. I know whether they like you or not shouldn’t affect your scores but we are all human so it will have some impact at least.

Sarah from Manchester got on with her assessor so well that at some point during the driving test she stopped being directed and was told to drive until she found somewhere to test her parking. 15 minutes later they were back at the test centre and Sarah was apologising for forgetting to find somewhere to park. “It’s okay, I’m sure you’re capable” said the examiner!

I’m not suggestion you become a teacher’s pet, but being friendly and getting off on the right foot with your examiner will go a lot way.


- Don’t -

dont radio

Turn the Radio On

There is such a thing as too confident and nothing says this more than a radio during a driving test!

Keeping in mind you are supposed to get on with your examiner, the last thing you want to do is to put the radio on. I know it can be awkward if there isn’t a conversation going, but blanking out your assessor isn’t the way to go.

Not to mention it could potentially be distracting and could even drown-out your examiner’s instructions. This will not help your final score.

That said, who knows, maybe you can bond over your taste in music? I wouldn’t risk it though.


- Do -

do expect the unexpected

Expect the Unexpected

Did you know in certain cities in America there is such a thing as an automatic pass in a driving test? You basically have to avoid or prevent an accident. It is basically a shortcut to telling your examiner that you are a safe driver, which is enough across the pond.

Unfortunately it isn’t enough over here – not that you should want to be anywhere near an accident on your driving test anyway – but it can be points in your favour.

Jordan, from Newcastle, was warned that there would be an emergency stop on a particular road. The examiner looked out the back window while on the road, likely checking if there was anything behind them, so Jordan waited for a signal. Suddenly, a child on a bicycle rode out in front of them. Jordan slammed down for an emergency stop, sending the examiner into the windscreen.

“Okay, you’ve passed,” said the examiner. “Please take me back to the test centre, my head hurts.”


- Don’t -

dont let your fears

Let Your Fears Get the Better of You

Fear combined with nerves is a horrendous combination, and it is what leads to more driving test failures than anything else.

Mark remembers stopping at a crossroads and outright refused to drive any further, purely out of fear of causing an accident. Anne from Berkshire even remembers asking her examiner to take the wheel at a roundabout. These are instant failures, and brought on by fear.

Some go even further. One girl, who has never passed her test, and swerved and bailed from the vehicle while it was still moving during a driving test. The reason? A wasp flew into the car. She says if she was ever in that situation again … she would react in exactly the same way.

Fear makes fools of us all.


- Do -

do prioritise


Just like how some people let their fears takeover you also find young drivers putting themselves in position to fail just by focusing on the wrong thing.

Gary from London bravely admits he failed his first driving test after checking his phone while driving, and his second after asking his examiner to take the wheel while he checked his phone. I guess you can count that as improving, sort of?

You’ve got to remember some things are more important than others. On a driving test a major fault has more weight than a minor, for example, so avoid majors at all cost even if it means a minor here or there.

Kathryn remembers putting herself in a similar situation on a driving test. She describes it much better than I ever could.

“I swerved to avoid an injured pigeon, and ended up in the path of an articulated lorry. At this point, I did the sensible thing and closed my eyes. My instructor took the wheel and deposited us in the roadside ditch. Upon opening my eyes, I discovered my instructor was nearly in tears. I failed.”



- Don’t -

dont forget your basics

Forget Your Basics

Once again, you can drive!

You should have logged at least 30 hours before you even thing of having your driving test, at which point, if you used the same instructor, you should the vehicle you take like the back of your hand.

Don’t be like Kerry who found herself rolling down the hill while attempting to parallel park, completely missing the fact that she had stalled the vehicle.

Don’t be like Simon who sabotaged himself by completely forgetting how to open the hood of the car during the show-me-tell-me portion of the test. You’re better than that!

You should have also passed your theory test with flying colours, so you shouldn’t have to be reminded that 40mph isn’t the national speed limit, like Freddy from London had to.


- Do -

do improvise


The harsh reality of driving tests is that you will make a mistake – you know it, I know it, and your examiner knows it. All drivers make mistakes, it isn’t an issue, you just need to convince the examiner that you can handle it safely.

Tim vividly remembers his first driving test when he was asked to take the next right, and he did – right into the forecourt of a garage.

“Erm … on second thought perhaps we don’t need petrol,” Tim stammered as he pulled up next to the pumps. He turned back out onto the main road and made the correct turn off as suggested by his assessor.

Tim is still haunted by the mistake 36 years after passing, but it his rather humorous recovery that likely saved him. You know the examiner knew he made the mistake, but he wasn’t going to fault him after he reacted accordingly.

You might find yourself in similar situations. Just remember, you can drive, and you can get yourself out of a situation with a bit of quick thinking.


- Don’t -

dont give up

Give Up

Last, but certainly not least, is this.

In 2014 only around 50% of tests were passed. This is counting people who took multiple tests. This means most people fail at least once, and a lot of people might take several tries.

You can react to this statistic one of two ways.

Either you can panic and let your fears get the better of you, meaning you get nervous, forget your basics and make your job a whole lot hard.

Or you can realise the pressure is off. You can have fun with your test and make it an enjoyable experience for you and your examiner. And if you fail, so what? It was a learning experience and you will be twice as good next time.

Keep persisting, keep trying, put the work in and you will see results.

Above all else, remember, you CAN drive!




10 Annoying Things From My Morning Commute

April 10, 2015
Posted in Humour — Written by Nationla Numbers

1. Should have left 10 minutes ago, but can’t find my keys!

2. Can’t get past the lady next door because she currently has her door wide open.

3. Nearly hit kids running across the road, even though there is a crossing 20 yards away.


4. Cyclist not sticking to the left.

5. Stop on the slip road because no one knows how to merge.


6. Finally on the motorway and in the fast lane. Stuck behind a slow driver.


7. Radio warns me of a traffic jam after I’ve already arrived at it.


8. Getting closer! Annnnnnd lollipop lady.


9. No one seems to indicate or stick to their lane when approaching the roundabout.


10. I’m here! Oh wait, someone just stole my parking space.



Tags: , , , , , ,

Jeremy Clarkson is Breaking Beeb

March 11, 2015
Posted in Humour,Interesting,Media — Written by Nationla Numbers

It has happened. Jeremy Clarkson has been suspended by BBC after another controversy. This time the 54 year-old host of Top Gear has got himself in bother after allegedly punching one of the show’s producers. As a result the remaining episodes of the current series of Top Gear will not be shown, but the fans are having none of it. Upon last glance a petition to reinstate the embattled presenter had reached an amazing 350,000. [UPDATE: Signatures are reaching 850,000]

Clarkson certainly does divide the public but surely after so many final warnings the BBC cannot waver now? Will this be the straw that broke the channel’s back?

Here is a run through of all of Jeremy Clarkson’s Top Gear controversies. Decide for yourself whether you think Clarkson has pushed the envelope too far, or if he is just a greatly misunderstood entertainer.

How Jeremy Clarkson is Breaking Beeb

Jeremy Clarkson is Breaking Beeb BBC


November, 2003 – BBC Pays lb250 After Jeremy Clarkson’s First Stunt

During an episode of Top Gear, Clarkson attempted to demonstrate the strength of a Toyota Hilux by driving it into a tree. Unfortunately it was a 30-year-old horse-chestnut tree that was valued by the local Somerset community. By February 2004 the BBC had apologised for the incident and had paid lb250 to the parish in compensation.

November, 2005 – Don’t Mention The War

During a discussion about the design of the Mini a comment was made about it being “quintessentially German”. This was Jeremy Clarkson’s cue to lead a mock Nazi salute as well as other references to the Nazi regime in poor taste. For good measure he even set the satnav to Poland.

July, 2006 – Clarkson Under Fire Again For Homophobic Slang

When discussing the Daihatsu Copen in the studio Clarkson used the phrase “ginger beer”, which is rhyming slang of “queer”, in response to an audience statement about the vehicle being “a bit gay”. Only four people complained about this, but it is one that BBC upheld and apologised for.

February, 2007 – Beating The Dead Cow

Jeremy Clarkson makes an enemy out of vegetarian viewers during the US special after driving with a dead cow strapped to the roof of the vehicle. He then slammed the beef carcass to the ground by applying the brakes.

July, 2007 – Drink Driving Jibe Leaves BBC Out In The Cold

During Top Gear’s Polar Special, Jeremy Clarkson drove over international frozen waters and made the comment that he wasn’t drink driving because technically he was “sailing”. Clarkson was accused of glamorising drink driving and BBC said the scene itself was not “editorially justified”. Jeremy Clarkson would like to remind us he was outside the jurisdiction of any drink driving laws though.

November, 2008 – LorryGate

In his most controversial incident yet, Jeremy Clarkson made a comment on his show about lorry drivers murdering prostitutes. Two years earlier in Ipswich, five prostitutes had been murdered. Perhaps it is unfair to judge without context, so the full quote goes as follows: “Change gear, change gear, check mirror, murder a prostitute, change gear, change gear, murder. That’s a lot of effort in a day.” Obviously, Clarkson’s comment was seen in bad taste and netted the presenter over 1,000 complaints and the first call for him to be sacked.

July, 2010 – Another Homophobic Comment

In a comment that did not make it to air, Clarkson said that he “Demanded the right not to get bummed” in an interview with Alistair Campbell on Top Gear. Of course the comment was cut because Jeremy Clarkson deeply regretted the comment … nope, he went on to say it was just cut because the interview was too long.

August, 2010 – Alienates The Disabled Community

With further tactless and inconsiderate comments, Jeremy Clarkson referred to co-presenter James May’s Ferrari F430 “special needs” and “simpleton”. Ofcom received a number of complaints but amazingly Clarkson got away with it.

December, 2010 – Mexico’s Most Wanted

The Mexican ambassador said comments made by Jeremy Clarkson were “outrageous, vulgar and inexcusable” after the presenter described Mexicans as “lazy, feckless and flatulent”. He even said Mexican food was “refried sick”.

February, 2011 – Because It Worked So Well The First Time

During a segment the hosts pretended they had been sent to Albania to test cars for a mafia boss and attempted to fit overweight “murder” victims into the boots of their cars. Top Gear and Jeremy Clarkson received hundreds of complaints in response, probably because it seemed like a blatant attempt to play off previous controversy.

January, 2012 – Christmas Spirit

During the Top Gear Christmas Special, Clarkson and Crew made numerous digs at Indian culture, food, dress, trains, toilets and people. The Indian High Commission called the jokes “tasteless” and lodged a formal complaint.

February, 2012 – Grotesque

Jeremy Clarkson followed up by annoying facial disfigurement charity, Changing Faces, by comparing a Japanese camper van to a person with a growth on their face.

March, 2014 – Down Hill From Here

During the Top Gear Burma Special, Clarkson made the following comment to fellow presenter, Richard Hammond, about a wooden bridge they had built: “That is a proud moment, but there’s a slope on it.” Jeremy Clarkson made this comment as a native of Burma crossed the bridge. BBC claimed it was a light-hearted comment referencing the quality of the bridge, though viewers noted that it was clearly an offensive jab at the local Asian male on screen. BBC later said they did not realise the word “slope” was considered offensive.

May, 2014 – Pushing The Boundaries

Clarkson’s biggest controversy today came after the Daily Mirror unearthed unused footage from a 2013 episode in which Jeremy Clarkson appeared to is the “N word”. The racial slur stirred up prompt reaction as the presenter was chastised for the act, as well as the shameless attempt to deny it. He later apologised and was given his final warning by BBC.

October, 2014 – NumberPlateGate

Next, Jeremy Clarkson almost caused an international incident after he and the entire Top Gear crew was chased out of Argentina while filming the Patagonia Special. The reason was blamed on a number plate, H982 FKL, which locals believed to be in reference to the Falklands War in 1982. BBC and Top Gear staff, including Clarkson, have defended the controversy as a coincidence, despite claims to the contrary by the Argentinian Government. Of course, the “final warning” isn’t considered violated at this point.



Tags: , ,

Top Gear meets LEGO

January 17, 2015
Posted in Humour,Interesting,Media — Written by Nationla Numbers

This trailer for Top Gear Series 22 shows the crew plastic’d up in the style of LEGO. The whole Top Gear team is these, with Clarkson, May and Hammond, and even The Stig, all being turned into the blocky characters you know and love from childhood and last years hit LEGO Movie. Everything is awesome indeed!

Tags: , ,

10 Things To Do with Your Old Tax Disc

October 7, 2014
Posted in Humour — Written by Nationla Numbers

1. Coaster

How to use old tax disc

2. Cufflinks


3. Biscuit Holder


4. Collect Them


Meet boy with tax disc obsession!

5. Moustache


6. Art Work

tdart @ImaginativePlay


7. Hybrid Vehicle Booster Pack


8. Sell Them


Could your tax disc be worth lb1,000?

9. Display Notes


10. SNAP!

tdsnap via



10 Things Every True Petrol Head Has to Deal With

September 11, 2014
Posted in Cars,Humour — Written by Nationla Numbers

1. When you come back to your baby and realise there’s a much nicer car parked next to it.


2. When you’ve ordered some new parts online and they still haven’t come within a month.


3. On that rare occasion you see a Bugatti drive past.


4. When you’re the designated driver and on the ride home someone throws up in your backseat.


5. When being in the passenger seat just gets too much.


6. When your insurance rises and you tell your insurance company where to stick it.


7. When your girlfriend asks you to fix something on her car.


8. And when you actually manage to fix the problem.


9. When someone tells you they drive a Fiat.


10. When you try and have a conversation with someone who’s really not interested in cars.


BONUS: When your car passes its MOT and you thought it didn’t have a chance in hell.


Tags: , , ,

Modified Cars Infographic

August 27, 2014
Posted in Humour,Infographic — Written by Nationla Numbers



1. A person who makes unnecessary modifications to their car to make it look faster.

If there is anyone on the road that has a bad reputation it is ricers who suit up their cars to look like something out of a Fast and Furious movie. The problem of course is that your average petrolhead doesn’t have millions to spend on car modification that the movie does so the result is never pretty. Oversized exhausts, outlandish paint jobs, bulky body kits, etc – these are the usual suspects that cheapen up vehicles, and while you might get away with one or two you should always avoid going full ricer.

ricer modified car

Tags: , , , ,

Drop Stop! The Original (and Unnecessary) Car Seat Gap Filler

May 7, 2014
Posted in Humour — Written by Nationla Numbers

Is it just me or has the Dragon’s Den entrepreneur/inventor culture gone way too far? There is a new product making the rounds in the US called “Drop Stop” that is seemingly pointless. I know there was was plenty of eccentrics and over-keen business men out there well before Dragon’s Den was on television but at least these people were confined to their own madness away from us! Even in early Dragon’s Den inventions like this would be mocked and sent on their way. Now you cannot escape silly products like this because of teleshopping networks always of the look out for the Dragon’s Den rejects.

So what is Drop Stop?

Drop Stop as they describe it “The Original PATENTED Solution to Reduce Driver Distraction”. Basically, it is a wedge that you shove in the gaps between your seatbelt and the gear stick so that items such as money, phones, food (yes food) and dignity doesn’t fall down that gap and get lost under your seat. Don’t believe me?

Take a look at the Drop Stop infomercial

This is a genuine product you can buy. I am a frequent driver and yes I do occasionally drop items under my seat but even I don’t see a need for this. Apparently there is a market for this though as apparently it is catching on in America – though to their credit even Americans are making fun of the silliness of the Drop Stop. One person even noted, regarding the advert, “What’s really needed is a working door lock so you stop getting into my car”.

Drop Stop? More like Just Stop

No I shouldn’ta

But I don’t know, maybe I’m missing the point. Can anyone see the positive in the product? Would anyone find it useful? Let me know by leaving a comment!



Funny Stories from the Phones, Part 1

March 21, 2014
Posted in Humour — Written by Nationla Numbers

Over the years we’ve had many funny conversations with our customers. We at Nationla Numbers would like to share these with you.

Today’s theme is: Acrylic Number Plates


Customer: “These number plates are very fuzzy, I can barely read them?”

NN: “Have you taken the plastic off?”

Customer: “… That has fixed it, thanks!”


Customer: “Instead of sending me a yellow plate, could you send me a red one?”

NN: “I’m afraid red plates aren’t legal.”

Customer: “Why not? I just want something to match my Ferrari.”


Customer: “I’ve just opened my plates and there is a big scratch on it!”

[after a long conversation]

NN: “What did you used to open the envelope?”

Customer: “A carpet knife.”


Customer: “I would like to sell my number plate, could you tell me if you would buy it?”

NN: “Certainly. Is it currently stored on a certificate?”

Customer: “No.”

NN: “Is it on a vehicle then?”

Customer: “No.”

NN: “So, where is the registration stored?”

Customer: “It is currently on a piece of string hanging on my son’s wall.”


Customer: “One of the number plates has an insect stuck inside it.”

NN: “What kind of insect?”

Customer: “Well, it’s got legs.”

NN: “How many legs?”

[This went on for a while]



Tags: ,